Isabella had registered
the streetlights whizzing by and the shadows of the giant red rocks, off in the
distance, that seemed to move past in slow motion by comparison. She had
watched the dust clouds kick up on the side of the car as the gritty desert floor
encroached on the asphalt the further away they went from the city. She had
even gone crossed eyed a few times trying to count the white dotted lines in
the middle of the road; any and every distraction was welcome if it meant stopping
the horrifying movie playing in her mind.
The red paint someone had
smeared all over the floor and her mother’s picture was as thick as the real
blood that had stained her mother’s pale dead skin and the gun she still in her
hand after she hit the ground. She could never clearly remember much of what
had happened before the deafening shot, she only remembered the blood; warm,
seeping into her jeans as she kneeled in a puddle of it, screaming and shaking
the lifeless body is was draining out of. Her mother’s eyes were open, smiling
at her, hinting at the last remaining piece of her soul that lingered. Isabella
shut her eyes quickly, trying to shake the indelible memory. Just breathe,
she thought, as she inhaled slowly and tried to stop her heart from racing.
“Isabella, we're
here." Blake’s voice crept up on her, causing her to nearly jump out of
her skin. She had been so deep in thought she hadn’t realized the car had
stopped. Turning to him, she was met with his usual penetrating stare and for
the first time it didn’t bother her the way it usually did; the warmth behind
his eyes was what she might describe as comforting, if it was even a sensation
she could feel at this point.
She only realized she was
shaking when he reached out and put his hand on her shoulder. The weight of it
against her rigid frame nearly brought her to tears but she fought hard to keep
them at bay. He had seen her cry enough for one night and his was not the
shoulder she had ever intended to lean on in the first place.
Turning away from him, she
closed her eyes quickly, but not before one defiant tear escaped down the side
of her face. His grip tightened as she wiped it away. “Are you okay?” he said.
She paused and bit back
the sarcastic answer she had for his question.
He didn’t deserve it, or the last few hours of chaos her situation had
put him through. He really did mean well, she had accepted that, but somehow
she allowed him to get in closer than arm’s length and it was time for her to
reset those boundaries. But as another
wave of emotion suddenly hit her she found herself opening further rather than
closing him off.
“I don’t how much more I
can take.”
Blake moved his hand from
her shoulder and up to her chin, pulling her face toward him. “Whoever did this is sick and if I have
anything to do with it, nobody is going to get a chance to do it again.”
“This is all my fault,”
she said in a stoic voice. “I tried to
convince myself that it wasn’t, but I always knew coming here would be a
mistake, but I did it anyway. I’ve done
a lot things I shouldn’t have and now I have to face the consequences. It’s
starting all over again; everything is falling apart and I let it happen.”
“You think you deserve to
have somebody send you bloody scarves and recreate the scene of your mother’s
death? What in the hell could you have
done to deserve that?”
Isabella stared at him for
a moment and then shifted her gaze again.
“Well if you don’t listen to reason and leave me alone you might find
out. I told you not to get involved.”
Blake reached for her,
this time pulling her arm and untwining it from the other until he was able to
grab her hand. “You really don’t
understand, do you?”
She looked down at his
hand on hers and then back up at him and slowly released it from his grasp. Why did he insist on making things more
complicated than they already were? “I have to go,” she said, and got out of
the car and began walking towards the house.
Blake let out a sigh, hopped out of the car and followed her to the
door.
She heard his footsteps
behind her as she hurriedly dug through her purse for her keys. She could feel him watching her, hear his
breath start and stop a few times as he began to speak and then decided against
it. He moved a step closer, and before
he could say or do anything else she pulled out her keys and turned to face
him.
“Thank you, again, for
everything. I’m sorry you had to deal with any of it.”
“I’m not. Look, let me
stay until your friend sends the patrol car over. I don't feel right about leaving you alone.”
“Lexie will be here as
soon as she finishes up with the security company, and, like you said, Reese is
sending someone over. I’ll be --”
“Fine! Yeah, I know,” he
said. Before she could move, he pulled
her into a hug, which she hesitantly reciprocated. His sweater was warm against
the cool night breeze; it smelled like fabric softener. His breath blew the stray tendrils of her
hair as he grazed the top of her head with a kiss. “You know you can call me if
you change your mind; doesn’t matter what time.”
“I know,” she
replied. She continued to hold onto him;
the feeling of his arms wrapped around her felt better than she wanted to
admit, and, despite her conviction not to cry she suddenly found it impossible
to keep her tears to herself any longer. He tightened his grip as she muffled
her sobs into his chest.
They stood there together
for several minutes as she struggled to regain control of her emotions. He began to massage the small of her back and
slowly moving his hands up, brushing the hair from her neck and exposing it to
the night air. A shiver ran through her body as he moved his hands up to frame
her face, drawing his thumb softly across her wet cheek, his breath coming
harder and faster as he leaned in closer to her. Isabella kept her eyes closed and swallowed
the lump in her throat before looking up at him. Just as she expected, his
eyes, crystal blue and intense as ever, were fixed on hers, asking a question,
and waiting for an answer. Without thinking she grabbed at the front of his
shirt, pulling him towards her and erasing the last bit of space between them.
With permission granted,
he pressed his lips urgently against hers, savoring the initial contact for
several seconds before he moved again. Her pulse quickened as he slipped his
tongue between her lips and massaged it against hers. She could barely keep still as the
electricity of the kiss surged through her like a live wire, and, yielding to
him completely, she wrapped her arms around his neck, fusing her body with his.
His hands began roaming
her body, lightly pulling her hair, his fingers finding the waist band of her
jeans; the anticipation of where they might go next threatening to destroy any
ounce of control she had left. This had
to stop. Her mind raced faster than her heart, squaring off in a fierce battle
with her body, searching for a reason why she should pull away, but every time
their lips touched and parted and found their way back to each other, she came
up empty. Every kiss felt better than the one before and despite everything
that was wrong in her life, every second she stayed in his arms felt more
unnervingly right than anything had in weeks.
The heat of his breath, as
he began pecking at her neck and tugging on her ear lobe with his mouth, made
things even worse. She dug her nails
into his back, eliciting a pleasured groan from him that turned her on all the
more. Blake grabbed her by the waist and maneuvered her over to the wall,
pressing her against the rough stucco and anchoring her under his control.
She closed her eyes and
sighed in ecstasy as he buried his face in her neck and slid his hands up the
back of her sweater. They were warm and
rough to the touch but they melted on her skin like butter. Seizing a handful
of his hair, she opened her eyes and gazed at the jet black locks intertwined
between her fingers. They were soft and
smooth, so dark and so unfamiliar. So was his cologne, the rough stubble on his
face, the way he touched her, the way his lips moved against hers. How could
she feel so free and open with a virtual stranger? Their lips met again as he
began to tug at one of her bra straps. Something was gravely wrong, but for the
life of her she couldn’t pinpoint why. Her body continued to ignore her mind’s
pleas for her to stop as she pressed her pelvis into his.
One of his hands moved up
the length of her arm, clasped around her hand, and removed the key chain she
had hooked around her finger. He began nudging her closer and closer towards
the door, making his intentions abundantly clear, and it wasn’t until she heard
the metal of the lock release and the door creek open that the reason to stop
became clear. Her spine stiffened suddenly and she pulled the door shut with a
loud slam, startling them both.
"I can't," she
whispered, taking the keys from him and sliding out of the space between Blake
and the wall. “What’s wrong,” he said, maintaining his hold on her waist, his
eyes once again searching hers for an answer.
She looked away, struggling to catch her breath, to hold back more
tears, trying to figure out how to say what was so obvious to her now. She was standing in front of a line in the
sand; the threshold to a future she wasn’t ready to face, one that couldn’t
include the past she had been so desperately holding onto. If she let him walk through the door he would
be entering territory that, as far as she was concerned, belonged to someone
else. The scars on her heart were deep and painful, but she couldn’t bring
herself to let go.
“I just can’t do this,”
she said again. “I really need you go; now.”
His fingers glued to her skin and a look of concern and puzzlement on
his face, he stared at her for a few moments, waiting for her to reconsider or
at least give him more of an explanation, but the solemn look on her face told
him he wouldn’t getting anything else out of her tonight.
“Okay,” he said
reluctantly sliding his hands off of her hips and into his pockets. He took
them back out and swiftly pulled her into him planting one last kiss on her
forehead before turning to walk away.
She hurried into the
safety of the house and watched him walk to his car, moving away from the door
and into the darkness of the living room when she saw him turn to look at her.
Unaware she had been holding her breath; she exhaled hard as his taillights
disappeared into the distance, and, torn between disappointment and relief,
locked the door that had so narrowly separated her from a point of no return.
-----------------------------------------
Isabella walked slowly
down a long stretch of dark hallway.
There were voices echoing against the walls, muffled voices, one of them
angry. Her parents must have been arguing again. She followed the noise to her
parent’s room and pressed her ear against the closed door but she still couldn’t
make out what was going on. Suddenly the door slipped open against her weight
and she quietly eased her way inside.
It was nearly pitch black
beyond the doorway but her father’s gruff voice drew her ears and eyes to the far
corner of the room. She could barely
make out his frame moving on the bed but it was clear that he was struggling
with something; with someone. He was telling them to stop, threatening them,
and when the other dark figure let out a garbled moan she realized that not only
was the other person a woman, but that she was not her mother.
*******
******
Horrified Isabella began
moving into the room, ready to pounce, ready to scream, ready to tear her
father apart for betraying her mother, but a loud bang sent her racing in the
opposite direction.
She tore back down the
dark corridor, her feet sliding on the polished marble. Something was wrong,
deathly wrong. There was a smokey smell in the air, not the fire place and not
cigarette smoke. It was a sharp, pungent odor, almost metallic. After what seemed
like an eternity she reached the threshold of the great room at the back of the
house and there, in the middle of large pool of blood, her mother lay lifeless.
She heard herself scream
as she fell to the ground next to her mother and began violently shaking her
body. This has to be a dream. Please God let this be a dream, she thought
to herself. She heard herself scream
again, but this time it wasn’t coming from her mouth. She turned around to see the grown up version
of herself standing behind her, horrified and shaking.
“What did you do?” the
grown up Isabella demanded.
“I didn’t do anything,”
she replied. “This is all your fault.”
“What do you mean?” She
took a few steps back to avoid the widening puddle of blood.
“You ignored her. You knew
what dad was doing and you never tried to help her. You were too busy running after him.” The younger Isabella gave her a look of
disgust as she pointed towards the doorway.
“Who are you talking
about? There’s nobody there.”
“He ran away. Go on and chase him; it’s what you always do
anyway.”
Isabella backed away from
her mother and her younger self before turning to run for the front door. An overwhelming fear came over her and she
found herself running faster and faster.
She didn’t understand why by whoever “he” was, she had to find him
before he left.
Blinding sunlight hit her
squarely in the face as she stepped out onto the front steps and as her eyes
slowly began to focus she could see the outline of a man standing in the
driveway. He motioned for her to come
closer and as she did, she realized that it was Blake. He wasn’t the person she
had expected to find, but that didn’t stop her from returning the smile he gave
her as she made her way over to him.
This had to be a dream because
nothing made sense. Her younger self had said that she was chasing him, but
that had never been true; she barely knew the man. The girl must have been talking about someone
else, but who? There was no one else
there but Blake.
She took a step out onto
the driveway and froze in place as a surge of fear shot through her body
suddenly. Out of nowhere a big black car came gunning towards her; engine
roaring and tires screeching. She tried
to move but she couldn’t. Instead she screamed and shut her eyes tight, bracing
herself for the collision.
The hit came, head-on,
sending her slamming to the ground; but when she finally opened her eyes she
realized that it was Blake’s body on top of her and not the car. “Are you okay?”
he asked her.
“I’m fine,” she replied.
“I knew you would say
that.”
“I knew you would be here.”
She kept her eyes locked on his as she watched relief wash over his face and when
he began to move off of her she pulled him back, drawing him closer and closer
until their lips met.
She closed her eyes as
they kissed and when she opened them it was dark again and they had moved from
the driveway of the mansion into the private confines of her room. The cool silk sheets brushing against her
back were in stark contrast to the rough texture of his the hair on his chest
and warmth of his skin pressing against hers. Being here surprised her but she
didn’t stop or pull away. Instead she
drew him closer, moving her body in tandem with his as he tried to cover every
inch of her with his mouth and hands.
Please God don’t let this be a dream, she thought as she began
to lose herself in the pleasure she was feeling.
“It’s not a dream,” Blake
said to her as if he had read her mind. “Or
at least it won’t be once he leaves.”
“What? Oh my God….NO!”
Oh my god. I was so enthralled with the moment, that Isabella was finally going to let Blake in, when she didn't. And because the space, the territory, belonged to someone else. NO!!
ReplyDeleteWhat a wrenching, horrifying dream/memory sequence, and she is certainly condemning herself in every possible way. I thought, maybe, although the shots led me to believe otherwise, that perhaps Blake had returned and it was going to be ok until that final twist.
What on earth? She's not dreaming anymore, is she? And that is not Blake.
Poor girl, she has been chasing that dream for so long, it's crawled into every space she has.
I love this. I absolutely love the atmosphere, the stunning shots, and your fabulous writing!
Oh Beth... I pulled the rug right out from under you didn't I, LOL. In hindsight I now realize this whole sequence should've come LONG ago, but I'm finally here now.
ReplyDeleteIsabella is desperately conflicted. In her mind she KNOWS she should walk away from Nico, but her heart is digging in it's heels. But, trust me, Blake has definitely gotten in.
No, she wasn't dreaming at the very end. Someone is really there with her and it is really Nico. It's like I've always believed: men know when you are just about ready to shut the door on them and they pop up just because they can.
I really went back and forth about going down this path, but it has a purpose that will be revealed soon.
As always thank you for your kind words and support. It means more than you know.
Well, I found this amazing story just yesterday, and let me say, I read it all with the most interest!
ReplyDeleteI love your writing, the incredible shots, everything!
I love Isabella, shes a great character, and gosh, I started the story in love with Nico but right now I just want to slap him x)
I guess I'm all the way on team Blake now hehe
Trying to cover on this comment about 29 episodes, i'll try to be short:
I love Biancas story, and specially her "thing" with Rider.
Sloane seems to me someone who had a very traumatic past, and that seems to be ruling her present, but I believe she's not going to get away with all of that. Maybe in the end she'll get redemption. Dunno. :P
In the end all I can say is that, I've read quite a few sims stories, and this is by far the best I've seen! Good job!
I hope you continue like this until this great saga reaches it's end, 'cause i've seen some great stories that, because they were to big, didn't get an ending, authors stopped writing, and well, fans (like me) raged internally for eternity :P And I'm dying to see who ends up with Isabella (go team Blake!)
Well, I think I said what was most important :)
I'm Portuguese, so English isn't my first language, if anything I said here was a kick in the grammar, please pretend you didn't see it okay? :D
Kisses,
Lucia
I'm so conflicted here. On one hand, Blake is a great guy and the chemistry they have could be combustible but I have such a soft spot for Nico that I want her to be with him. Everyone is pushing for them to be apart. Maybe that's why I root for him (that and the fact that I love bad boys). I guess we'll see...
ReplyDeleteThe entire dream sequence was incredible. Your writing is so evocative. Wonderful!
Hi Lu and Thank you!!! Hats off to you for reading all of this in a day; I don't think I could ever attempt that. I am so happy that you like the story and I do fully intend to finish it to the end.
ReplyDeleteLike you, I could slap the crap out of Nico right now but I still have a big soft spot for him too. I do however really want to see where things could go with Issy and Blake. I think they would be electric together.
I'm hoping to go more into the Bianca and Rider connection as well as diving deeper into Sloane's past. There's a lot more to her that I want to reveal and hopefully I can do that soon.
Once again thank you SO MUCH for reading and commenting. I really appreciate it :)
Gayl, thank you so much! I'm glad you liked the dream sequence and I hope everything came across well. Like you, I will always have a soft spot for Nico. The first cut is always the deepest and it is hard for me to imagine them not being together. At the same time, she and Blake have a pull that can't be denied. She's finally admitted that much to herself and now she's on the fence (she doesn't deal very well with change). The heart is a strange and fragile muscle both literally and figuratively. It has to beat a certain way, blood has to flow through it just so or else it won't work at all. Isabella's afraid that hers won't work right without Nico even though he's been breaking it. I just hope that, no matter what happens, she doesn't close herself off to both of them. We'll see though.
ReplyDeleteThank you always for you kind words, they mean a lot to me :)
OMG THAT DREAM! I love how you made it so real! Sleeping when you have so much on you mind and heart like Izzy really does result in dreams that jump back and forth like that. It's like you realize things about yourself in your dream state that translate into waking life. The dark and light being everything with Nico and the darkness of their circular motions then Blake being the light, new breath of fresh air. Damn...she told herself she is always chasing "him" so I wonder if that means she'll make a change.
ReplyDeleteI am a hopeless romantic and believe in love being what it is so even if Nico is poison, I think I still want them to work.
Thanks Qui. Dreams do tell a lot about real life and this one is has really scared her. A change is definitely what she needs right now because her life is not working. Whether or not she will....well, we'll soon see :)
ReplyDeleteWow, you sent me on quite the journey with this saga. I really appreciate the way you gave your characters so much dimension. Just when I thought I had someone figured out, turns out I don't.
ReplyDeleteIssy: It’s always something with her. Getting nearly hit by a car. The drug scandal. The scarf. The break- in. Like Sloane, I’m surprised she hasn’t completely suffered a meltdown and isn’t packing back home. Her father is still a looming enigma.
Nico: I’m sure he means well, but his lack of communication is tearing the women in his life away. I don’t know what was worse, not telling Bianca about her mother or only confessing when Bianca practically pried it out of his mouth. And not calling Issy when things are falling apart? I just wanna shake him!
Blake: I really do like him for Issy. They both share the pain of losing someone they loved. I loved their encounter in the cemetery. And it’s no coincidence that they keep running into one another. I don’t know if it’s meant to be, but I think it’s definitely worth exploring.
Eden: She’s such a good friend. I wonder where she is. I can't wait to read more about her life with her husband. I don’t trust him.
Bianca: It's hard enough being a teen. This poor girl's whole world is being turned upside down. If she doesn’t rebel more so than she has, I’ll be surprised. It’s really sweet that Rider has taken it upon himself to find out more info about her mom.
Sloane: Her pain and vengeance is fueled by a misunderstanding. I hope her and Issy can rectify the situation before it’s too late. But something tells me too late is right now. To get rectification means actually confronting one another and I don’t see that happening anytime soon…
Cross: Is it wrong that I find him particularly beautiful? I can’t stand his character, but my goodness…! Him and Sloane are the best necessary villains in this story. The thought of what these two could do frightens me. They’re both irate and relentless…dangerous combo.
This is the bad part about being caught up - the wait! I’m such a fan of your imagery and writing. =]
Blupaws, THANK YOU!!! Not only for the kind words but for reading all of these episodes. It's a lot to take in and just thinking about some of the earlier stuff just makes me want to cringe, but I guess it's all a part of the journey. I'm so happy you enjoy this story and thank you for your patience in waiting for the next episode, which is up now. I hope what's coming next will start to tie up some ends I've left loose for a while. Thank you so much again :)
ReplyDelete